Walter's Insight - Musings of a Fellow Traveler of TJ Class of '67 Port Arthur, Texas

You would laugh if you knew me better. Our church is beginning a follow up campaign to the Purpose Driven Life. The current program is about finding one's purpose as part of a group. In other words, forming relationships where one acts upon one's faith. That means doing for others without expecting anything in return.

Here is something that is no big news - I'm not good at relationships. Growing up as an only child, I was very self centered. I liked it that way. Later in life, I learned that sometimes part of having a relationship was for whatever reason, losing it. It was painful. I don't particularly like pain and so I would avoid forming many deep relationships. It seemed that people came and went so quickly.

At the very heart of my problem with relationships was my Dad. He was two people. Sometimes he was a good Dad and husband and then when he started drinking he was not. He was spooky. I was too young to understand. I don't think I can even begin to express how crushed I was when he tried to kill himself. I just did not want him to die. Well he didn't. But after that we still could not get close. It was many years after he passed away that I realized I did not know what made him tick and possibly he may have thought I did not care to know. Finally I have forgiven him and the younger me. There are some things that one cannot change.

So, I'm the last person to ask about helping solve a problem in a relationship. What I do now that I did not do earlier in life is try to work on making and keeping the relationships I do have. As I have said, people come on go so quickly. One day people you know are here and the next they are gone.